Hello
by Zeffyr
Summary: A play with the characters introducing themselves as I see them. Please R&R.


Hello  
  
A Short Play by The "Buffy" Cast  
  
(Writing this while watching the Buffy Marathon on space)  
  
The Set: On a stage. The characters walk on one by one and introduce themselves.  
  
Buffy: Hello! I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  
  
(Giles walks on)  
  
Buffy: Who are you.  
  
Giles: I'm Rupert Giles. I come from England and I plan to abandon you in a few years and go back there. Then I will come back and announce that the world is ending and that you might die. Oh, and I almost forgot, I'm your watcher.  
  
Buffy: Great. Another one. Are you going to die too?  
  
Giles: I just told you I'm leaving in a few years.  
  
(Willow walks in)  
  
Giles: And who are you?  
  
Willow: I'm Willow. Right now I'm just a geeky high school girl, but then I'll become a witch, perform great magic, make us all forget who we are, and when my girlfriend is killed, try to destroy the world.  
  
Buffy: Oh, would you like to be my friend then.  
  
(Xander walks on)  
  
Willow: Who might you be.  
  
Xander: Xander Harris. I'm a geek, and will always be. I'll never go to collage, in high school my girlfriend will almost die because of me. I'm a demon magnet and will end up almost marrying an ex-demon. I'll become a carpenter and save the world when Willow tries to destroy the world, I'll talk her out of it.  
  
Willow: Neat.  
  
(Cordelia walks in)  
  
Cordelia: Hello. Pay attention to me. i'm Cordelia Chase. I'm a superficial ditz who will date Xander, break up with him and never forgive him, than go to LA and screw around with Buffy's old boyfriend.  
  
Buffy: Really. Which one?  
  
(Angel walks in)  
  
Cordelia: Him.  
  
Buffy: Who are you, Mr. Dark and Mysterious.  
  
Angel: I'm Angel. I'm a 240 year old vampire with a soul. When I lose it to you Buffy, I'll try to destroy the world by sucking it into hell. Willow will give me my soul back and Buffy will have to kill me anyway. I'll came back, yank around Buffy's heart some more, then leave for LA.  
  
Buffy: Oooooooooohhhhh.  
  
(Oz walks in)  
  
Buffy: So, Angel, are you single.  
  
(Willow notices Oz)  
  
Willow: And who are you? When did you get here?  
  
Oz: A few minutes ago.  
  
Willow: Aren't you going to introduce yourself?  
  
Oz: Okay. I'm Oz. I'm a werewolf. We will fall deeply in love and then when I cheat on you will another werewolf I'll leave you. When I come back I'll find out your gay and almost kill your girlfriend when I loose control of my wolfy self.  
  
Willow: Okay. Let's go make-out.  
  
(Willow and Oz start to make out. Anya walks in)  
  
Xander: Who are you, you sexy thing.  
  
Cordelia: Xander!!  
  
Xander Cordelia. Shut-up.  
  
Anya: I'm Anya. I'm a vengeance demon. Well, I was. Now I a confused mortal who doesn't want to die. I love money and bunnies scare me. I'm very realistic. When Xander breaks up with me I'll become a vengeance demon again and get one of my best friends killed when I want to undo a spell.  
  
Xander: Will you marry me?  
  
Anya: Sure!  
  
(xander proposes and Tara walks in)  
  
Tara: H.. Hello?  
  
(Willow and Oz stop making out)  
  
Willow: Hello.  
  
Tara: Hi. I'm Tara, a witch like you. We become lesbians together and are relationship becomes screwed up when you start to be taken over by the magic. I'm killed by a guy that is trying to kill to kill Buffy, and then you kill him and try to destroy the world.  
  
Willow: Bye Oz.  
  
Oz: What?!?!?!?  
  
(Oz goes after Tara. Everyone watches. Dawn walks in)  
  
Dawn: Why are Oz and Tara fighting?  
  
Buffy: Their fighting over Willow.  
  
Dawn: Oh, okay.  
  
Dawn to herself: Just like them. They don't notice when i'm here, when I appear, when I leave. They only notice when I do something wrong.  
  
(Spike walks in, really pissed off)  
  
Spike: Bloody hell Slayer. Do you have to keep a man waiting?  
  
Buffy: Who the hell are you?  
  
Spike: I'm Spike. Don't you know me. I've killed 2 slayers and I'll try to kill you. Then I'll fall in love with you, and go to the ends of the Earth to get my soul back for you. you still won't give a damn about me and I'll have to give this incredibly boring and heartfelt speech that will make you accept me and love me and then i'll walk into hell for you.  
  
Buffy: Neat.  
  
(A vampire attacks suddenly. The whole gang pulls weapons and attacks)  
  
The whole gang: Looks like another day in Sunnydale. 


End file.
